All kids birthdays are an opportunity for parents to sit back and exclaim, “Where has the time gone? How did this happen? Where did our baby go?”
This birthday, though? It felt a little tenuous. A little too delicate to plan anything in advance. There has been this tiny, but exclamatory “wow,” in my head for the past couple of weeks. Wow, she is two. Wow, she might not have made it to this birthday. Wow, our life is so radically different from what we imagined it would be, one year ago. Wow. We are here. At two.
BUT! A real birthday, it was! As a present, we were handed an absolutely brilliant two-year old for the day. Brilliant to look at. Brilliant to be around. Brilliant and shining and fun. We’ve had a few days since treatment started (like this one: Day 169) where John and I can imagine what Elsa would have been like had she not gotten cancer. Today was one of those days. We lived each hour today so effortlessly. She roamed the house during her birthday party like the toddler I remember from 6 months prior. The toddler who left me breathless as I chased her through the library and who scared me with her independence and fearlessness. She played with her grandparents and two of her bestest (grown-up) friends. We couldn’t have any other kids over because her counts are so low, but she seemed none the wiser. Once everyone had left, I realized that she hadn’t cried out for me once! She was too busy for mama/nana and I couldn’t have been more pleased. Busy is good.
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Good morning Two!
Party Time!
