Monthly Archives: June 2010

Lactation Stories: Rough But Worth It

Though it has only been four and half months, our breastfeeding journey has felt like a very long road. Another one of the [many] paradoxes of parenthood: Elsa has been alive for only four and a half months (less than half the time I was pregnant with her!), though I can’t imagine we ever existed without her. I have been breast feeding for only four and a half months, but I can’t fathom that I am the same mother who cried for hours every day, fanning my nipples, staring with a mix of awe and resentment at the tiny child who gnawed her razor-blade gums against my flesh every two hours. The rules of time are bent for new parents: days whizzing by while simultaneously spanning eons. Some nights surely lasting weeks while the daylight hours dissapear in an instant.

There have been fiery, screaming nipples, many strategically-placed tubes of nipple cream around the house, countless frustrated nights in the LaZboy, a number of lactation consultants – but only one very special woman who told me I was poisoning my child (she deserves a post by herself). There has been bucketloads of self-doubt and countless moments of “Why am I doing this?” – a question I still contemplate but which no longer plagues me. Now – finally – four and a half months later – there is a really wonderful relationship with my daughter that was worth every second of misery [and it was miserable].

having a snack at HOLYLAND, U.S.A.

For more about our arduous, but ultimately successful, breastfeeding journey, try Lactation Stories: Razorblades Arrives

Dear Elsa . . .

Dear Elsa,

I spend a lot of time thinking about the things I don’t want to forget about this time in our life. . . I apologize in advance if this gets a little melodramatic. That’s basically my new baseline anyway.

You wake up in the morning farting like an old man. That’s something I love. You lift your legs high in the air and let the farts fly, looking pleased with your accomplishments. We spend at least a half hour every morning in bed together – you lifting and farting – smiling and flapping your arms violently against your sides. You’re very happy to lie there while I try and get a few more minutes of rest.

In fact, you are a very happy baby all together – I like to think this will predict your future personality. You only cry when you are tired, hungry, or hurt and each of these cries is unique and easy to decipher. You spend most of your time smiling at me or your dad – your dad says that you’re like crack for him. And you are certainly like crack for me. When I leave you, even for an hour, I have to control myself and not call your grandparents every ten minutes for updates. When I see you again, I hug you and sniff you and chew on your ears a little.

I hope I never forget your farts. And how happy you are. And how much I like being with you.

Sometimes, I have to admit that I dread you growing up and becoming an autonomous little being. Your absolutely perfect today, right now. At the rate you are growing and learning things, you could be a totally new person tomorrow. A little girl getting on the school bus. A teenager who doesn’t want to hug me or let me suck on your ears. A mom with your own babies.

How does anyone survive the heartbreak of their babies growing up?

Cloth Diapers: Money Saver? Perhaps not.


Cloth diapering is a dangerous endeavor. Dangerous because cloth diapers will feed your need for materialism and web surfing soooo much more than disposables. Disposable diapers are usually white (although now they come in a “denim” style – yuck). You throw them away which avoids any emotional attachment to the diaper. You may get away with buying fancy chlorine free diapers, but for the most part, disposables are really boring.

Cloth diapers, on the other hand, come in a number of different systems and hundreds of colors, patterns, styles, and brands. So when someone says they are saving money by cloth diapering – maintain your skepticism. I am using one of the more economical diapering systems (prefolds+covers) and I am definitely not saving money (though perhaps I will have by the time Elsa is potty trained?).

Why? Well, I am a fairly typical American with a small black hole in my soul that I try and fill with “stuff.” Starting at about 35 weeks pregnant, I became totally obsessed with researching cloth diapers. I started out by choosing a system. I was committed to saving money, so I chose Prefolds+Covers.

Well, I recently became curious just how much money I was saving by cloth diapering.

If I was using disposables: I figure that the average baby goes through about 8 disposable diapers/day. 8 disposables x 7days/wk x 19 (# of weeks Elsa has been hanging out with us) =1,064 diapers. Let’s say I was buying Pampers. 150 diapers/box and about $41/box. So I would have spent about $290 on diapers thus far. And just to get even more specific: let’s say I used 2-3 wipes/diaper change. That’s 2,128 – 3192 wipes in Elsa’s life thus far. So a box of 512 wipes is about $16. Now we are looking at a total of about $100 for wipes. Total estimated cost for disposables over 4 months: $390. Ok. Fair.

We are using cloth instead: both cloth wipes and diapers. I have a small “stash” . . . and let me pause for a moment here. The lingo associated with cloth diapering is EXTENSIVE. Moms love referring to their “stash.”

So – my “stash” is modest: a total of 24 infant prefolds, 24 small prefolds, 5 newborn covers, 6 small covers, 10 pocket diapers and about 32 wipes (20 of which are actually baby washcloths that I got from my baby showers). While this may seem like a lot of diapers, I still do a load of diapers every other day. And if you want to see A LOT, go to Diaperswappers.com and look at the sheer volume of diapers that women are trading. It’s NUTS.

So, I got together all my reciepts. And I got intimate with Excel (as I am wont to do). And here is what I came up with:

I’d like to pause again for a moment. I can’t even believe that I am devoting this much time to writing about my child’s diapers. I can’t believe I am publishing it on the internet! Who does this kind of stuff? I’ll tell you who: Stay at home moms do this kind of stuff. Stay at home moms who are cloth diapering.

Ok. So, as you can see, we have spent $750 on all of Elsa’s diapering supplies (which includes a number of items beyond just diapers and wipes PLUS the laundering cost. I factored in how many of those items were gifts (baby shower – score!) and we, ourselves, only spent $345. Which is great – but had we not had awesome family and friends, we would be out $750. And that is only after 4 months. Now – granted – many of these items we will use for the duration of Elsa’s diaper career: the wetbags, the wipes, the diaper sprayer (which we haven’t even used yet!), and the one-size diapers. But, as you can see in the chart, she has already grown out of $141 worth of prefolds and covers. And she is quickly working on growing out of everything else as well.

Which leaves me back at the beginning. Back to the internet spending hours upon hours obsessed with researching cloth diapers. Brands. Colors. Styles. Gussets. PUL. Elastic. NONSENSE. It’s all nonsense. Does that mean I am going to stop? Probably not. Does that mean I’m going to spend more money? Probably.

All this being said. I am so happy we are cloth diapering. But not because we are saving money. I can’t kid myself anymore. In the end, we will probably spend just as much on cloth as we would have disposables. But there are many, many other reasons why I’m glad we are cloth diapering – but that is another post.

Baby Nonsense

So, baby products are 98% nonsense. Things you really, really need? Some boobs full of milk. Arms. A spare set of arms. Other less necessary, but helpful items: 24 cloth diapers. 6 diaper covers. A washing machine. Some wipes. A rocking chair. Onesies. Car seat. Some baby holding device for when your arms wear out. Totally unnecessary items: Almost everything sold at Babies R Us [a place I have been an embarrasing number of times]. Most of the crap that fills up Elsa’s room.

That being said, I own a lot of baby stuff and I do a lot of baby-related stuff. I spent the last month of my pregnancy and the housebound winter months subsequent, researching baby-related stuff (cloth diapers, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, parenting styles, etc., blah, blah). Now that I have experience with all these things, I feel compelled to share some of the info I’ve garnered. So some of the posts on this blog will be painfully boring to anyone who is not pregnant or living with a small child. Just a warning. Also, as much as I love advice-giving, I told my pregnant mom pen pal that my biggest mom advice is this, “Don’t listen to other people’s advice! Just do your own thing.” So there is that too.

Disclaimer: I do NOT receive any financial compensation, product samples, blah blah. If I ever do (which I doubt since I have about 2 readers), I would make that VERY clear in the post. Any website/product I suggest is simply because I have spent entirely too much time on the internet. I just want to share some of that knowledge in an effort to make all the time I’ve wasted feel worthwhile.