Everyday, I like to browse the list of patients waiting to be triaged. The way the ED works, patients walk in and first meet the “Expeditor.” They tell the Expiditor what’s wrong with them and then proceed to the waiting area where they wait anywhere from 1 minute to 12 hours.
The triage nurse browses the list of chief complaints and chooses the sickest patients first. This is why we sometimes have 20 patients with “Chest Pain” waiting because they know those are the magic words. There is a poster in the waiting room, “If you are having chest pain, please tell the nurse.” Patients watch another patient with actual chest pain ushered into the ER and soon, everyone has chest pain. The nurse brings them in and “chest pain” turns into a stomach ache they’ve had for 3 months. I feel for them though – If I had been waiting 12 hours, I might develop chest pains too.
Then there are patients who stick to their actual, awesome chief complaints. From now on, whenever I post, I will give a sampling of great chief complaints collected over the past few days/weeks.
This past week? Not exceptional. But, I guarantee there are occasionally some REALLY good ones. Keep checking in.
1. “Fungus and itching x 1 year” : Where? I guess the expeditor didn’t care.
2. “Q-tip stuck in left ear”
3. “Krazy Glue in left eye” (this patient had been waiting 8 hours last time I checked)
4. “Genital problems”: this is obviously my favorite.
