Monthly Archives: January 2007

Shootings at work

It’s not even a great story really . . . But I witnessed a shooting last night.

I was eating pizza around the corner from the hospital, enjoying my dinner break from work. I heard two gun shots, ran outside [what???] to see what was going on [as opposed to hiding under a table which would have been the reasonable thing to do] and saw four guys running down the street about 15 ft. away. There were some cops standing next to me, eating muffins [not kidding] from the Columbian cafe next door, so it seemed OK that I stay on my cell phone, giving my lovely partner a second-by-second play-by-play of the action instead of calling 911. About 8 minutes later, after the 4 guys had gotten far away I’m sure, about 12 NYPD cars wailed onto the scene. Meanwhile, I figured out about 10 minutes after the whole thing was over that I had just witnessed a scary thing and should not be calling everyone I know on my cell phone boasting, “I just saw a shooting outside my work!”

Do I see more terrible things than your average New Yorker? I have lived here 1.5 years and I have seen a shooting and a stabbing so far. One right outside where I work (the shooting) and one where I go to school in Manhattan. Considering I saw NO acts of violence while growing up in suburbia, seeing 2 in less then 2 years seems like a lot to me.

Reptile Dysfunction

When my sister (who is 10 years younger) was about 5, she wandered over to my mom and asked, “What’s Reptile Dysfunction?” My mom asked her to repeat herself and, very clearly, she asked the same question. My mom thought long and hard, whispering “reptile dysfunction? reptile dysfunction?” to herself. She replied, “Honey, I just don’t know. I’ve never really heard of reptile dysfunction. Days later, we were all watching TV and a commercial for Viagra came on . . . Mom! Look! Reptile Dysfunction!

For months, Carolyn would ask “What’s Reptile Dysfunction,” just for for the fun of watching the family crack up. A brief moment in Burman family history.

Regarding this reptile dysfunction: I have an exam tommorow for my Elder Care Nursing class. Here is an uplifting excerpt from my study guide:

Normal Changes of Aging

Men: produce viable sperm until age 90
− ↓ testosterone and ↑ FSH and LH = ↓ muscle mass, ↓ facial and body hair
− Less firm erection; may have difficulty anticipating/delaying ejaculation
− Sexual response should be present, but may be slower (slower erection, slower to ejaculate, slower to get hard again)
- Fewer ejaculatory squeezes

Women:
− Perimenopause can last up to 8 years; FSH increases and estrogen levels vary
− Menopause: once it is complete, estrogen drops dramatically and FSH and LH increase = thinning of vaginal tissues, ↓ lube, shortening of vagina, ↓ body hair, pendulous breasts, full mons/vulva, shrinking clit, coarser skin, ↑ facial hair
− Shrinking urethra and trigone of bladder= ↑ risk for UTI and incontinence
- Orgasm stays the same!

Bring on the birthdays.